My Story so far…
It all comes back to the breath.
That is what I've discovered after over 18 years on this path of healing and self-discovery.
A path that for me, began with infertility.
My search for the reasons of my seeming inability to plant a seed, led me to the realisation that it was all about the soil. The soil of my body, spirit & mind which at that point of my life was quite obviously untended,
malnourished of attention and out of alignment.
I was burnt out from a career in the fashion industry, burdened by emotional baggage from years of unhealed childhood trauma, and terrible unwillingness to face the pain that bubbled inside.
It was Reiki that first began to peel the layers back on all that was hiding just beneath my surface. Sessions with a reiki master for infertility led not only to the birth of my beautiful son Daniel a year later but the birth of the woman I was yet to become.
My insatiable interest in holistic therapies blossomed and my journey to becoming a Reiki grandmaster begAn.
This early part of my healing path led me to clearing many physical issues within that had haunted me for years.
Addiction, depression, fibromyalgia, IBS and endometriosis all began to clear in those first few years,
but I was only beginning to discover that the physical was only the beginning.
In 2015 I was called into silence and moved away from my old life to retreat in a sanctuary of silence and nature.
At this point I had undergone a severe detox,lost 5 stone in weight and had immersed myself completely in all sorts of modalities and courses and I feel I completely lost myself once more in the search for enlightenment.
Though looking back, All of it was a necessary part of my journey.
I began to make my descent into what is known in the spiritual community as “the underworld” to be stripped completely of my ego, false illusions and false identities through facing my own darkness and demons,
my pain and suffering, my patterns and attachments, projections and toxic traits.
Around this time, a miscarriage at 11 weeks led to a post-partum hemorrhage, which immersed me in a near death experience. This subsequently brought me on a search for answers and deeper healing of my womb.
This journey brought me directly to the patterns and issues from sexual abuse in my childhood and in my continuous cycle of co-dependency in all my relationships in particular dysfunctional ones with men.
I worked with plant medicine for a while and after my first Psilocybin ceremony with a wonderful shaman I was able to give up anti-depressants and Xanax, but my life was still not quite manageable and I was still experiencing so much pain and suffering from my childhood right through to my early 20s.
Growing up with alcoholism and spending 9 years myself in the rooms of AA in my 20s, I was wary when it came to psychedelics knowing i had an addictive personality, but substance abuse was still another battle I had to overcome. It was the pain of suicide attempts that brought me to AA and for that Im truly grateful.
Years upon years of talk therapy but nothing was changing…
…until I discovered the power of breathwork.
For me the breath has brought me to the ultimate truth of who I am and has allowed me to open to life and to God and to myself in a way I have never experienced before.
It has allowed me to go far deeper, in terms of understanding & acceptance, which then enabled me to detach from old emotional connections that no longer served me.
It set me free.
I also have a great love for Keening and found this a great tool in my own healing. I was blessed to have had the most wonderful grounded teacher for this from which I am so deeply passionate about holding a space that is safe, grounded embodied but ordinary without the sage & bells and whistles. Breathwork is such a necessary part of the release process.
I have 3 children who I absolutely adore and who are the driving force in my quest to heal my mind, my body, my life because anything not cleared from my energy field or my cellular memory will manifest through their lives and unfortunately or fortunately, once you have this awareness it cant be ignored.
My children are my greatest teachers. especially Luna, who is autistic. She in fact has shown me many autistic traits within myself that I had rejected and tried desperately to heal when Luna taught me just to love and accept those parts of myself as I love and accept them within her!
She teaches me to view the world in a totally different way which has encouraged me to seek a diagnosis myself for autism & adhd.
Now diagnosed with autism I am looking at my life through a different lens and coming to a deeper understanding of myself and how I relate to the world around me.
Ive immersed myself in rebirthing not for anyone’s admiration or praise but rather because that is how wounded I was and how much work I needed to accept myself fully.
I learned I have a strong unconscious death urge that brings me to these continuous near death experiences and depression ,and I continue to delve deeper here by learning to breathe under cold water with a snorkel to overcome this.
As I move forward on my journey I continue to disconnect from my programmes and beliefs and have begun to live more from my truth in life regardless of what that looks like so Spirit can continue to move through me and assist in this awakening to who we truly are.
I have my own private connection with my own breath and feel it as the Holy Spirit moving through me and purifying me of my darkness so I no longer witness it in my world and can build healthier relationships based on connection rather than attachment .
I’m deeply passionate about assisting others on their journey home to themselves and to the silence within where all is perfect and all is welcome. I do not just embody some of the Divine Mother….I embody all of her faces …the darkness & the light ….